Snakes on a Plate!

A medical emergency brought me back to China. Thank God that things are much better, and when things stabilized, I went out and explored some food. This time I went to a Hunan restaurant in Tianjin called Guang Tou Nong Jia Cai (Translation = Bald Head Farmer's Cuisine). The outside, as much of China, is getting a makeover. The sidewalk is half paved with bricks and half dirt. Because Tianjin is an Olympic city, there’s a massive movement to beautify the city. As I thumbed through the menu, I was thinking how a lot of people would be surprised. I am to the point where seeing a page of turtles is quite ho-hum to me now. But wait… what is this? Snake? I think I tried it once when I was a wee lad when I was in Mexico, but I really can’t remember. That saying, it’s like a new experience for me. One order, please!

I was with the locals. They all told me they would not eat it.

As you can imagine, eating in China, for the most part, is a lot cheaper than it is in the US. The bill for four of us was $100, and $50 of that went to the snake dish. How was it? Delicious, actually. No really, I actually liked it a lot. Now then, my lunch experience.

Now that the staff knew what I wanted, they brought out my lunch. At this point, it was alive. The cook (I think) was careful to have a tight grip on the snake’s head, so it doesn’t go lunging at us. I’d say it was about 4 feet long, probably even longer. After I felt the skin, kind of pet it, and said good-bye, I looked around the restaurant and observed the style.

As I said it’s Hunan style. Old Communist Chairman Mao Tse-Dong was from Hunan province, so the staff wore the old Mao-era clothes. The interior was designed to look like a wooden home. There were decorations that are typical to that region including an opium pipe. I think. Nobody could confirm it. As far as food goes, Hunan food is spicy. There are different types of spiciness. For example, the spiciness that Xi’an is known for is one that numbs your lips and tongue. I really enjoy the food there, but after 20 minutes of happily eating a lamb’s leg, you can’t taste it anymore. Washing your tongue with water will not do it. You just need to wait. Well, this is spicy like we are more familiar with. Think Mexican food. In fact, there was a dish that was very similar to what you find in genuine Mexican restaurants. Instead of salsa with the chips, you may find spicy pickled vegetables including carrots, onions, and of course, peppers. Almost the same vegetables in China. And yes, very spicy.

No chips.

Okay, so the first part of the snake experience is dished up. I receive two shot glasses of bai ju. Bai ju is very popular in China. It’s is transparent like water, but the smell and taste let you know something is there. Hard. It comes from rice. The way someone described it to me was that those who made it were poor Chinese, so they created something strong to make them forget about life at that moment. I’m not sure if it’s true or not, but drinking this stuff will definitely mess with your mind. Strong stuff! I will admit that the most intoxicated experience I’ve had in my life was a result from a lot of this. Don’t let the beautifully decorated and ornate bottle fool you. It looks very elegant. But when you drink it, you feel is going all the way down. Think gasoline. So here I am with two shot glasses of this. One is red, and the other is transparent. Wait a tick… is there something in there? Ah yes, it’s the snake’s gall bladder. They “pop” it, leave the “meat,” and let the bile pour into the glass. Now I have a green shot. I am told this is to make one horny. Whatever - this is the first time I was frightened to throw something back into the gullet. But I did. Only half of it, because others on the table were scared, too. The bile didn’t change the taste of the bai ju; onto the red shot. Why red? You guessed it: snake blood. For some reason, this was easier for me to take down. Bottom’s up! Yeah, I had a slight buzz.

Okay, what’s next?

Several dishes as that’s what you do in China. Spicy? Yes. When your dishes are covered in peppers, and you need to poke around to find your food, you know it’s spicy. Others have it mixed in delicately. But make no mistake, it’s spicy. About the only thing that wasn’t was the bread/bun, but dipping it into the sauce will cure that. What was eaten:

- Rice (surprised?)
- Tofu gar (celery and dried tofu). Not bad.
- Pao cai (pickled vegetables). Similar to what you see in a Mexican restaurant
- Hua cai chao rou (cauliflower stir fry pork meat). Had a great grilled flavor. Reminded me of roasted peppers, including the spice.
- Hua juan (flower swirl bread). Chinese bread/buns really don't have much flavor. These were better than normal, though.
- Shuang se yu tou (double color fish head). I love fish, especially when cooked whole. The only problem is all the tiny bones. One lodged itself in my throat what felt like sideways - all the way down. Ouch!
- You jian la jiao (Oil fried spicy green pepper). And this was definitely "la." (spicy)
- Suang cai fen si bao (Saurkraut rice noodle clay dish). Not a fan, but not a fan of sauerkraut.
- And finally, the featured dish: xiang la she (fragrant spicy snake)! You can see the meat in the shape of the snake's body and the colorful snake skin, which was actually my favorite part.

Everyone watched me and did not dare try it - until the end. They saw how much I liked it and finally tried a few nibbles. The skin had rubbery texture that was perfect. Like the yu (fish) the se (snake) is very bony. But it's easy to eat around the bones. This is the dish that was full of peppers, and towards the end, I was fishing for my meat. Again, I thought it was hao chi (delicious). Yes, I would eat it again. Done. Wo chi bao le. (I am full.) Lips and tongue fully burning from spicy food.