Swan Oyster Depot – Athos’ Review

Swan Oyster Depot
1517 Polk St
San Francisco 94109
Btwn California & Sacramento St
415-673-1101

When I consulted the Dudes on where to go before going to San Francisco, Aramis told me one of his favorite places in the world is Swan Oyster Depot. With a reply like that, I made it a point to go there. The first night, I had two people with me. We went there, and it was closed. Blast!

A couple days later, and I went there in the afternoon. Located in the Nob Hill neighborhood, this place has been around since 1912. It was raining a lot, but it didn’t stop people from lining up outside to get in. The place resembled an old diner where you sit at the counter. Just a long and narrow hall is really all the restaurant is. I think I read there are only 18 stools to sit on. The first four seats were a group of guys that were experimenting different dishes as the person behind the counter made suggestions. I asked them what they were eating and their thoughts and made mental notes what to try before a seat opened up. The couple in line next to me were also foodies who struck up conversation. I was summoned and took a seat on the bar stool in between people and began firing off what I wanted and asked for suggestions. The first guy attending to me wasn’t too friendly, but it may be because it was loud, he had a thick accent, and I was asking him to repeat a lot. After that, every other guy rocked. We joked, talked about places, and, of course, food. I ate so much that the guys there were proud of me. Now then, here’s what I ate (to the best of my memory) and my reviews:

What’s nice is there are oyster crackers every couple feet on the bar along with horseradish, vinegar, olive oil, salt, and pepper.

Clam chowder – It was good, but I wanted it thicker. The freshness made you feel like you can taste the ocean.

Sourdough bread – It’s San Fran, so of course you get some. It was just normal, but it was nice to have to sop up the chowder, oil, etc. from the different dishes.

Oysters & clams – I wish I can give more info, but the accented guy wasn’t clear, and I already had him repeat at least 3 times. These were from different regions. I never really use cocktail sauce, but this was actually pretty good if you need to use it. Also, I’ll admit that I’m not sure what are good oysters & clams to not-as good ones. I know bad, and these definitely weren’t.

Sardines filleted in olive oil, capers, and chopped red onion – The coolest guy behind the counter made this, and he made a lot of conversation. He suggested these, and they were quite delicious. They were good on the sourdough bread. Later he came by and sliced scallops for me and just added it to the dish for free.

Scallops – Very light, tender, and delicate. The taste was mild, especially compared to the sardines, capers, etc. that shared the dish.

Seafood salad – This was the second best dish thing of the meal. This was sick, just insanely good. There was lettuce on the bottom, but I think that was for decoration. They asked if I wanted the dressing on or the side, so I asked for the side. The dressing was incredibly tasty, but I didn’t try it until the end. The salad stood so well on its own. I don’t remember all the ingredients, but it had large shrimp, crab, and more. The Dungeness crab is so, so sweet and adds to the whole dish. I wish I remember what else the salad consisted of, but trust me, you HAVE to get it.

And finally, smoked salmon on sourdough bread. O. M. G. This dish was so good that at the end of the meal, my pants were bursting, but I still asked for another order since I didn’t know when I’d be back. It was so good that I kicked a puppy, slapped a priest, and talked dirty to a nun. The salmon is sliced and prepared in front of you. It goes on sliced sourdough bread. Done. That’s it. It’s also accompanied with a dish of olive oil, capers, and chopped red onion which went perfectly with each other. Typing this is killing me, making me wish I had the entire smoked salmon in front of me.

In two words: delicious and fresh. Very fresh. Cool guys, bare bones, in a small place that delivers up great, fresh, delicious seafood. They know what they’re doing, and it shows that they love it, too. When they were closing up, they simply took an empty pitcher of beer, filled it up with soapy water, and just threw it around and scrubbed with a brush. Just a no-nonsense place. $100 for everything. I thought it would be less, but you’re on the honor system, and I haven’t had seafood this good in a long time. As California’s Governator says: I’ll be back.